Game Report: Guitar Hero 3 (Wii)

So, I've been hearing a lot about Guitar Hero, and I thought I'd give it a try, what with it finally coming out on Wii. As my lovely wife will attest (or indeed, anyone who heard the girlish giggling and alternate barrages of swearing this past weekend) I frickin' loooooove it!

Although I do play the 'real' guitar, I thought I'd start on Easy and, after a few false starts, I was off and running in career mode with my cutting-edge band, ///F (pronounced k-k-k-eff). Although hampered in the early rounds by songs I didn't know, I still managed to chock out some crankin' tunes. But the aforementioned girlish giggling didn't occur until the end of the second round, when I was pitted in a no-holds-barred, old-skool scratch battle against Tom Morello (who just happened to be in the crack-den of a bar we were playing in - what are the odds???). After seeing him off in short order, I was invited to join him in a celebratory jam. The song? What else, but Bulls On Parade.

Cue the giggles.

Luckily enough, as the rounds (and difficulty) progressed, so did the number of songs I knew. Cherub Rock? Pfft, whatever. Knights of Cydonia? Matt Bellamy, I am thine equal (at least on the field of Guitar Hero). Welcome to the Jungle? I kicked Slash's butt in the battle, then shredded for the imprisoned masses. Cult of Personality?..... Damn you, Living Colour! Damn you to hell!

Speaking of hell...

In true rock-star fashion, the final round took place within the very bowels of the Underworld itself, with the band's souls on the line. This was where my dream came true, ladies and gentlemen. This was where I had to pause, release my death-grip on the guitar, and take a moment to ponder the pinnacle of rock greatness upon which I was perched.

I was Tom Morello. Playing Number of the Beast, by Iron Maiden. IN HELL!!!!!!

(gasp, gasp, wheeeeeeeeze.... I'm okay. Really, I'm fine...)

After that little performance, and facing down Lou himself in an epic battle featuring the Primus version of Devil Went Down To Georgia, I found myself staring down the barrel of the much-lauded crowning glory-song of the game: Through The Fire And Flames, by Dragonforce. Even on easy, I found myself trying to tie my fingers in knots in order to keep up. And there's videos out there with eight-year-olds doing it on Expert? Either they've got eight fingers, or I've got a long way to go...

I guess the only downside that I can see is the relative shortness of the actual game. On Easy, you have to complete a minimum of three songs in each level, meaning you actually only have to play about thirty in total to get to the end (I'd check, but I can't be bothered Googling, and my wife's using the TV at the moment). And while I completed the Easy version in a weekend, the step up to the Moderate version (which adds the fourth fret to the playing shenanigans) is still a little to steep for me to try. Add this to the fact that you have to play the same songs again, and the longevity isn't really there. Enh. I guess I'll just have to wait until they release Rock Band for the Wii, then (hey, a guy can dream...)